Dear You,
The snow came late this year.  It’s January, and it only fell about two weeks ago.  Of course, I’m sure you know that, wherever you are.  Anyway, the point is, when I finally stopped loving you, I could go days or even weeks without thinking about you, without picturing your face, without anything reminding me of you.  

But once that snow fell, it all came rushing back.  Every moment, every touch, every kiss, every fight, every laugh.  We spent winter together- snow, cold, and night stars- and now that winter has officially returned…all I think about is you.

Last night, I even dreamed about you, and although I cannot remember what you did in the dream, or what you said, or what I said, or even, for that matter, if we had any interaction at all, I remember I could picture your face clearly.
I couldn’t do that a month ago, and I can't do that now- only in dreams.

They say the stronger you feel about someone, the harder it is to picture their face when they’re gone.

I believe it.
When you’re with someone so much for so long, you come to know everything about them- their smell, their walk, and their seven different smiles.  But, because it’s so real, you don’t expect it to go away…and when it does, even after you’ve memorized all their details, you can’t seem to remember their basic features.  Maybe you can picture that smile, or those shoulders, or a freckled cheek, but you just can’t get the whole face.  The whole, perfect, beautiful face.  The one you used to kiss and the one you used to touch.  

The stronger you feel about someone, the harder it is to picture their face when they’re gone.
I can’t picture your face.

Sometimes I go out to our spot- you know, the one beneath the crooked tree, where the earth dips down a little?
Yeah.  Sometimes I go there and lay on my back in the snow and just breathe.
Do you ever go there?  I wish you would.

I wish I could see you one more time.  I wish I could say one more word to you (maybe three or four.)  I wish I could kiss you once more.  I wish you’d apologize, and I wish I’d be able to forgive you.

I also wish you'd never hurt me.

But that’s all you’ve become now- wishing and hoping and dreaming.  
You’re no longer real, Matt.
We’re no longer real.  We’re just a memory.

Still hopelessly in love with you,
Me